#its not a refined art and its not a silly sketch and its fun and fast and i dont have to go ham for wawwy and his bear bear
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So i gave Wally a bear....
and now she's HIS bear and he loves her!
and now i just sort of have them together all the time
even if i carry him or move him, she has to come too!
a package deal..
Her name is Skittles
They have matching heart feet QwQ <33333
and she is so him-sized
and she's an artist cause look at her lil heart shaped paint pallete!
#oooh im so normal about themmmm#truly attached!!#wally darling#welcome home#welcome home wally#jazzdoodles#ohh its so refreshing to use the doodle tag again#its not a refined art and its not a silly sketch and its fun and fast and i dont have to go ham for wawwy and his bear bear#they are simple#UwU
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Birthday devblog
I'll post a small oops large gamedev update on Combat Nightsuit Saboteur. My last post about it was in April.
During that month, I started working on concept art for the character and sprite.
Starting to get into May, I was working on art for interior areas like you're seeing above, and was starting to develop an idea for the art direction overall. Developing art assets like these while maintaining a full-time job is pretty difficult (every game's a miracle blah blah blah), so I had to accept that my pace would be slow.
I was doing some basic level designs here and testing them out with Clem while taking notes on feedback. I was researching platformers as I was doing this, so it took a little time.
In July, I wanted to find ways to mitigate how long it took to develop art assets. I started working on a prototyping art style so that I could have something in place. I also made a tool for calculating pixel art columns and gutter widths.
I also started taking notes on what lightness values of the character to avoid using in my assets, so that she doesn't blend in too easily. I took a break afterward to visit family with Clem.
I resumed work in August and started sketching out ideas for individual rooms.
I use GIMP for pixel art, but one of the unfortunate gripes I have is that its color palette mapping produces inconsistent artifacts. To combat this, I employed Dither Machine for more consistent pixel gradients.
By September though, I was getting frustrated with my pace, and a burning thing in the back of my mind was that even though the scope was small, the game wasn't fun or interesting, and I wasn't even making progress in the one level I was planning.
I mean, up until this point, I was trying to be kind to myself. I had a full-time job and was sleeping 6-7 hours a night so I could use the time after 10 hour shifts to draw pixel art and watch videos. I was making time for friends and going out with them.
Maybe I have an attention disorder? I do watch more YouTube than I really should (generally I try to use it for listening to music while I create, but I admit I sometimes get sidetracked by bops too lol). I imagine getting suboptimal sleep every day and having to catch up on weekends doesn't help.
I decided in September to change the project. An increase in scope, because I needed to make something I was more familiar with. Six characters, but you only play as one. No longer a jump-and-shoot, but a Strider-like, with an added focus on a beat-em-up combat system. I spent a few days writing backstories and getting the setting more in order, which would help me develop assets with more direction to it.
I refined my character sprite some more, started working on animations.
This shift in design was giving me a second wind, and I knew that I needed a more-than-basic platforming system. I was also promoted at my job, which came with a schedule change (I also got married lol, October was a big month). I decided to adjust my sleep schedule to 8-9 hours a night, and dedicate a single hour per work day for chores. As of today I am much healthier.
October was a major programming month. I started development on what I do best -- a Strider-like platforming engine.
Running, jumping, walljumping, corner grabbing, and ceiling grabbing were implemented. By the end of October, I was finished and successfully deployed the code into the project. To celebrate, I played around with anime color palettes and tried out my art style with a Blender project.
God it looks badass, I don't regret spending time on that art, after all. Despite how much I suffer, productivity-wise, it's stuff like this that motivates me to push on and create. It sounds a bit silly, but this image saved this project from death, because I can't let go of how much I dream of making games and animations.
If I really do finish this project, I can only imagine how much the world would like it. I just know I'm cooking, here. I've been thinking about inviting friends to help (the promotion came with an income increase, but it mainly helps me afford things more comfortably, sadly). I know for sure I need a project manager who may be able to secure full-time development funding, a Kanamori of sorts, to help develop a schedule and try to stick to it. Artists and quality checkers would be amazing, too.
November's development is smaller, but that's because it focused a ton on figuring out a pixel art animation process.
A/B Pose Sketches: Sketching multiple before after poses, like the ones my friend Rawri drew.
Selection, mainly determining which A and B sketches look best.
Joint-Keyframing: Those are the head and joint versions you see me make, with the pink helmet.
In-Betweens: Planning how the motion is meant to carry out.
Limb Shaping: Adding the limb silhouettes
Detailing: Adding the blues, golds, silvers, and black parts. Includes a check for any details I missed.
And that's where I'm currently at!
Edit: Actually, no, I need to say that people HAVE been helping me, here's who I'm shouting out:
Clementine - My wife! Thank you for loving me and supporting me and buying groceries and cooking meals for me and working hard. Genuinely I could never make progress without you helping me.
Mechanicalrot - Our partner! You also help give advice on projects and cook sometimes. I love you as well!
Robin and Eli - My family. Thank you for also buying groceries and helping me with dishes/trash and for your support. (strange-alchemy gets a shoutout for being supportive as well <3)
Saphica - Additional moral support and partner in crime. Thank you for reviewing my artwork and helping me stay positive even when I was feeling rough.
Rawrienstein and AndromedaZach - Amazing friends lending their art experience to help improve my art and animations. It means a lot that you hope for my success.
Rose - Another wonderful friend, thank you for having us over and cooking and showing me movies.
Jaycee - Wonderful friend, thanks for liking my posts and supporting me, too. :]
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Do you have any art tips? Asking for a friend
i took a while to answer this one because i had a hard time coming up with any specific advice to this kinda broad prompt
a few things ive noticed about how im drawing lately, that in sharing might??? give you the advice youre looking for:
get inspired by other artists. let your art style evolve as you pick up new ideas and see new ways of doing things. practice doing the things you see that you like!
i hate clean linework and need to work on that... part of it is a long history of never finishing my art and having years worth of doodles lying around. what i do in the meantime is im trying to get better at sketching, which for me means, confidence.
one way to improve your sketches and help you do them faster, cleaner, and easier to work off of, is to practice anatomy,and also tracing references so you can get the motions and sense of space ingrained into your mind. references arent evil. they dont make your art less valid, use them! tracing isnt evil either, as long as youre making it your own! several of the pieces ive put on here i did blocky tracings of to get the shapes down, then did a first sketch over that, then final lines over that. it just means youre starting from a good place. i cant tell if im making sense anymore its two thirty am. why am i like this.
lighting can really bring your art to life! stuff like how to shade and how to use the glow tool too much and how to uhhh.... yeah i just have been leaning too much on messy lighting lately ill let you know when i actually refine that. a simple bit of lighting to single color or flat colored art can really bring it to life and its just fun
flip your canvas so you can check to see if it looks good. i tend to tilt my head and hold my tablet at an angle i KNOW THATS NOT GOOD ART POSTURE SHH and sometimes it makes my art come out squished. flipping my canvas keeps things in check. ill draw like a respectable person someday dont @ me
greatest art tip: forgiveness. let yourself accept your art for what it is and be proud of what it is, instead of being upset with it for not being what you thought it would be. thats okay. now you have one more finished piece of art that you didnt have yesterday! getting hung up is the number one way to let fear keep you from not only doing art, but being happy with it. this kills you as an artist.
one more tip is, if youre feeling a lack of creativity or drive to do complicated stuff or practice any of the above skills, let yourself play in a different art space.for example: pull open mspaint and do a purposely silly or badly done doodle. laugh at it. accept it as done even if it still has mistakes. let the perfectionist in you take a break for a bit. decide you find joy in this. think “hey i could do an art blog about this and it will help build my confidence as an artist until i get out of this deep depressive/creative slump.” do a few and then rarely ever post again because oh yeah youre in a depressive and creative slump. realize a few years later that you like art again. start doing more involved/challenging pieces that are only complicated because you refuse to practice lineart and anatomy as much as you should and keep skipping ahead to “ooh pretty colors and glow tool” stuff. publish them. get confused feedback because youre not supposed to be a real art blog. you know, relate able stuff. dear lord why am i awake.
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Hnghhh why does it require e f f o r t and p a t i e n c e and p r a c t i c e to get good at art????? I need to be good immediately and things i want to see appear at a snap of my fingers.......
Read more for what became an accidental full rant about why ive yet to post anything besides that one thing idkkkk
Aka im TRYING to be good and practice little by little but its BORING and difficult to not get immediate reward.... Also because for whatever reason i really dont wanna watch tutorials so im tryna be all self taught kinda and im OBVIOUSLY making a lot of mistakes like its part of the process but its FRUSTRATING
Basically im on my 6th??? Idk restart attempt at the same fennec portrait and its. Okay. Its at a point where im like nice as long as i suffer over the details here itll be decent ish. Probably.
But its not REWARDING.....
I know i want to do screencaps and character and face studies to get to the point of good art i wish i could be but .... I also just wanna draw like fun fic scenes and silly doodles of characters like some of the cool artists i follow do but i CANT because im not GOOD ENOUGH yet. ;(((((((
Yea i could post sketches or whatver i manage in a night but like who the fuck wants to follow that? Nah... I just idk. I DONT KNOW i dont know what my art goals are (i do, but DO I??)
My brain also obviously doesnt work very well visually which is GREAT so like, any original work its a lot like 'i'll know its right when i see it' but getting next to no other direction and you just gotta be like right. Okay uhhh my anatomy skills are stunted from when i was like 16?? Perspective?? Detail?? WHATS THE COLOR SCHEME
Never mind that i just... Dont understand the program or brushes that well idk why. Krita should be good and im too stressed to experiment different softwares.... BLEGH
i just. Part of me aches to go back to traditional for a bit but i just, dont have the means to make the scale of work i want ro produce with traditional materials yknow?? Maybe i should try just sketching scanning and then lining on computer again idk. At least for some of these face things.
Ok so my GOAL is to always have a very recognizable face. Like. I guess i cant hold myself to photorealism standards because hahahhah id die! But like, i want the face to be looked at and go ah yes! Its that guy! That actress! My friend! Me! Whoever! But like, recognizable. Because i know i CAN thats what i do! Thats all ive been good at !!!!
And like yeah i could hone that, yknow? Work on face studies and mini portraits of all my favourite actors and scenes and shit. Cool right?? Yeahh that could be sickaroni macaroni. People like faces they can recognize and good refined work. I can do that
But i want to be MORE
Id love love love to make like. Scenic paintings. Concept art level atmosphere and color and light and presence and as tory telling yknow?? Id like to substitute the literally colorless fog inside my head into vivid scenes. Id like to try and take the fics that in my head are set in ??? Space with some movement here and there and just idk emotions? Into fleshed out SCENES with backdrops and accurate anatomy and WEIGHT and like, everything incredible that i admire in true art.
But thats hard, yknow? I havent really ever done backgrounds and what i have have been so flat. I dont KNOW how to do that (here i would be willing to have a teacher i think but. Im tired. I cant even seek out a short term therapist for myself how am i gonna find the kind of teacher i want?? Because of course i want them to teach me how to achieve whata inside my dreams and not what they know how to do ykno)
Yeah so i want to try and paint screencaps in the meantime. See if i cant struggle my way to fit this putty of skill into a square box. Like i think i can paint. Digitally? Somewhat idk?? Maybe if i just. Keep trying itll work out?? Start with simpler ones and build up to complexity??
But also. If im juat trying to get myself to love art again, why am i trying to throw myself in the deep end of struggling with something im not good at?? Shouldnt i be just refining what i already know? Like. A character! Standing. Maybe in a cooler pose if going crazy. Refining basic anatomy. How does fabric work? How does hair work? Can i make expressions seem realistic?
Next step, could i make a picture of someone without direct reference?? Like. Could i draw maybe a wee dinluke holding eachother or whatever and like. Just. Do it?? Without doing a version of photoshopping two pics of the actors through art together. Idk.
Also NONE of this makes sense to anyone outside my head and im SORRY
Like i dont even have a resolution at the end here!!! Im just FRUSTRATED!!!
I wanna draw, i wanna have results and success and rewarding experiences. But i also want ro challenge myself and do super complex shit and like really push myself to learn impressive difficult shit and be proud of down the line.
Im so tired. I cant even feel ok drawing without having someone on call with me to alleviate the immense pressure of frustration and anxiety and stress and struggle!!
I just. Wanna enjoy it
Okay fine i need to find a show or smth to 'watch'
And tomorrow? I might whip out a sketchbook thats been last used 8 years ago and. Ignore everything in it hahhaha its bad
But no im gonna. Im gonna draw scenes. With minimal reference
I might make a face collage i definitely wanna for pascal and mar camel
But im gonna put PENCIL to PAPER and get to the roots of MY HAND CAN DRAW just give her a chance, and get your brain outta the game.
Ok so fuck me this rant has to end here or ill never stop
If you read this (i dont expect ANYONE to have) send me like a message or whatever lol imma need to ask if youre ok <3
#art woes#ended up being way too long OOPS#im just really TIRED and FRUSTRATED#take a peek in my brain#bless this mess or whatever
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Chapter 4: Sixteen Hours
6:30 AM The alarm rang abruptly in the stillness of the morning, a rude shrill noise, splintering our warm, nocturnal embrace and throwing us both into the coldness of the day.
“April, we gotta get up”, I said, mumbling as I shook off the last remnants of sleep. She groaned softly, rolling over and pulling the covers away. “Hey, get up. Geee-tta UGH-PUUUU! Get TU DA CHOPPAH!” I did my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impression loudly and poorly, adding in a loud grunt for full effect.
“Argh, I need muh clothes, my boots, my motorcykalll”, she said, in the same bad Austrian accent without opening her eyes. “Come ONN, do it. Do it Nah-OW!”
Stumbling out of bed, vision still blurry, and nearly tripping over the corner of the blanket now fallen to the floor, I reached over and grabbed from the basket the first item of clothing on the pile of clean laundry that we neglected to fold from the previous night. I pulled open the top drawer of her dresser and felt around for a bra. I threw both toward the bed as I made my way to the bathroom. April put on her top as she stood up. Hair a mess and eyes barely open, April exuded a dreamy, other-worldly quality as she floated from the bed to the sink wearing the dark red floral patterned shirt dress I had bought for her the weekend before. I blow dried my hair into a more presentable state and shaved as she washed her face and finished combing her hair.
I packed April’s belongings into her backpack for her, the both of us hurrying downstairs to my car. After stopping by a McDonald’s drive-thru on the way, we ate Egg McMuffins sitting in the early traffic heading toward Downtown LA. I looked at her as she opened a ketchup packet.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful!” she said, laughing as she carefully squirted the ketchup onto her hashbrown.
Briskly walking up the parking lot escalators and half-skipping across Pershing Square, April got to the bus stop just in time as the vehicle screeched to a halt. “WESTWOOD/SANTA MONICA” said the display. A quick kiss goodbye and she was off to class.
8:00 AM The office was dark as I stepped out of the elevator. Walking toward my desk, I was greeted by lights flickering on as motion sensors began to stir. Fresh cup of coffee in hand, I left the kitchen for the far side of the floor toward my favorite viewing spot.
The Los Angeles morning was peaceful when viewed from high above. Cars moved slowly down Broadway; I could hear their distant honking noises in the early rush hour. Construction workers below near Third Street walked carrying their equipment, passing by the shops just beginning to open in Grand Central Market. From my hawk’s nest I saw a cyclist zipping down Grand Avenue past the Museum of Contemporary Art, in front of which a food truck was beginning to set up shop. My breath and the steam from my coffee fogged the glass as I stepped closer to look at the crowd of people gathering by the Broad. The early light bathed my city in a warm amber glow, thawing its sleepy commuters as a new workday began. Flecks of gold and saffron twinkled as the dawn bounced from the stirring skyscrapers and automobiles, blinding me. I, too, was beginning to wake as I finished my coffee.
With my headphones on, back at my desk, I continued sketching out the wireframe concepts from the day before. Wireframes are the foundation of plotting out designs for interactive products such as apps and websites. They are a high level way of designing ways in which someone can use a product and the organization for which types of information and interaction appears on which screen, before a designer has to focus on the finer details such as animations, visual appearances, and the style of smaller items such as buttons. Even though the other designers created wireframes in programs I was also familiar with such as Adobe XD or Sketch, I always took great care in sketching out early ideas neatly on paper. I felt there was a purity in shaping ideas away from a computer, a kind of humility in making things with my hands.
8:30 AM The office is still dim as I make myself a second cup of coffee. This was one of those sluggish days; I felt slow to start, and was glad to still be the only person in the office. There was less pressure this way. I returned to my desk and cleaned up my lines with an eraser, reinforcing others with a Sharpie. Boxes with crisscrosses represented images, various other shapes representing icons and call-to-actions. Simple line patterns signified text, clearly showing the underlying grid to the layout. Adding final touches, I drew an outline of an iPhone over all of the screens before using a green colored pen to create the markings that showed how a user interacted and navigated from screen to screen. I felt pride for the cleanliness of my draft, as I never knew whether the second draft in the computer would be made by myself or a different designer. Finished, and satisfied with my work, I walked over to the simple Kanban board on the far wall and moved the task’s corresponding post-it note from the column labeled “in work” to the column labeled “done”.
Aside from a few coworkers from accounting, the floor was still mostly deserted. Sitting back and listening to the rest of Bach’s Goldberg Variations on my headphones, I fidgeted at my desk for a while. Impatient, I walked back over to the job board and grabbed one of the tasks from the column labeled “backlog” and moved it to “in work”. This should keep me occupied, I thought.
10:00 AM Standup was always kind of fun. Normally I have always preferred to work alone, with headphones on, lost in thought as I built designs and mockups, in an almost-meditative state of flow. However, I liked my coworkers very much, and it was also nice to see everyone at the beginning of the day and update one another on our work progress in the morning as we created the pieces of our product together. I enjoyed this kind of organized interaction that afforded me boundaries and space to create.
<Walalala..>, texted April. It was her way of greeting. Warm and cheerful, albeit at times a little silly, it was a greeting that I had come to love. It would also be a salutation I would receive less and less over time until I would not see it at all. <What you doing?>, she added.
<Designing more apps. What about you?>
<Nothing bored in class>
<Lol. You should pay attention! I’m pretty tired too. I don’t think I woke up yet>
<I miss you.>
<Haha, I miss you a little too.>
<Only a little bit? Fine! Text me when u miss me a lot!>
<Ok I miss you alot>
<Pfft, you still need me to remind you?>
<Ha, you should pay attention in class. Your mom will kill me if you fail because of me>
<Well you can always quit and go to engineering or med school!>
<YOU can go to med school. I’ll make more apps!>
<Too hard~ And I’m so tired today I don’t want to do anything. Head hurt.>
11:00 AM Sketches spread out on the table before me, I began to create the second round of digital wireframes. As much as I enjoyed sketching, this step was also one of my favorite things to do. The useful aspect having hand sketches was their looseness — from a high level perspective, during this stage there were still so many possibilities. Creating the first digital wireframe versions, despite their inherent roughness, narrowed down those possibilities. To do so felt like taking a camera lens and turning it slowly into focus. At this stage, it was not a crisp focus, but much more recognizable as a coherent direction. The process was therapeutic as it was methodical; moving through it step by step, there was room to make improvements on the fly, perfecting each idea. However, today, my process of refinement would be interrupted by a different task.
There needed to be a version of our project for a new client, said marketing. A simple mockup of our app must be made in the style of our new client, a baseball team. The refinement of the new screen designs would have to wait. Grumbling to myself a little, I closed the program and neatly piled the sketches into my drawer.
<Heyyy, why u ignoring me?>
<Sorry, some other stuff came up at work>
<So sad but it’s okay. I feel so sleepy and tired>
<Maybe have some coffee? I’m on my second cup already>
<I dunno. Stomach hurt a bit too>
<I’m sorry. Would you feel better if you ate something? What are you gonna get for lunch?>
<Expensive grass, haha>. “Expensive grass” was April’s name for salad. They always cost more than they should, she would remark.
<btw…>
<what’s wrong?> Nothing good ever happened when April said “by the way”.
<If I go back to Taiwan after graduation, can we still be friends?>
<We’re not breaking up. We can make this work>
<I mean, if. Can we please stay friends? I can’t imagine a day without you, even if we’re only friends>
<I want you to stay though. We can figure this out>
<I don’t know…>
12:00 PM It is lunchtime. Mood now sour, I didn’t feel like leaving the building. After informing my deskmates that I was taking my lunch break, I grabbed a stale bagel from the kitchen and microwaved it with a slice of cheese. Taking that and a diet soda from the fridge, I returned to my viewing corner.
We had only recently moved into the forty fourth floor of the building from six floors above. The company had now grown bigger and the fiftieth floor was not enough space. However, it was only the design, marketing, and accounting teams on this floor, leaving most of it empty. In fact, we only occupied one corner, leaving the other three quiet and deserted. I enjoyed taking walks around the empty areas, sometimes even bringing my cello to work and practicing in one of the empty rooms during breaks. Today though, I only wanted to look outside and think.
Now midday there was visible smog in the Los Angeles air. Protestors were forming on Grand Avenue. I looked closer, curious as to the reason for this group. I could not make out the writing on their signs. A car accident was visible further down on the 2nd Street intersection, blocking it off. The authorities closed off one of the lanes, backing up traffic. A bus awkwardly took up both lanes as it attempted to merge into the available space. An adjacent driver made a rude hand gesture out of his window. I sighed, feeling exhausted as I learned against the wall near the window. I sat on the floor as I drank my soda and looked out of the floor to ceiling window, thinking. The conversation I thought of was not with April, but one with someone else, from a different day, in a different language.
•••
<Your girlfriend is really pretty! I saw the pictures you posted to WeChat yesterday>
<Yeah, I took her to the airplane museum the other day.>
<Do you spend everyday with her?>
<Well, she kept asking me to stay over, and then I had to stay with her after she crashed her car. Lately though, she tells me she just doesn’t like it when I’m away. It feels weird, but I’m really happy with her and I love her, so I guess I’m not complaining. She’s been coming to work with me and taking the bus to school too>
<Hey, you should pace yourself. All couples need their space from time to time.>
<Maybe? Sometimes I go to work and five minutes after I leave she texts me that she misses me. I think she’s very sweet.>
<Okay, I’m just looking out for you. What if she turns out to be one of those possessive types?>
<She told me she gets jealous easily. A lot of my female friends came to my birthday party and she told me she felt weird about it. ‘I’m very jealous’, she said.>
<Hey! I knew it!! Is that why you didn’t answer any of my calls or texts last winter in China?>
<Sorry. I guess it’s just weird, what happened between us.>
<Why would you tell her that…>
<She had someone else she was trying to get over and I was trying to comfort her.>
<Well, nothing happened between us!>
<I know! Well, I don’t know. You are one of my best friends, and what happened affected me very deeply. It may have been nothing to you, but it was definitely something to me.
<I’m sorry about that. I really am. I was as confused as you too. I never meant to be cruel. I hurt you, and I ended up hurting myself too.>
<I’m glad we’ve moved past it and we’re still friends>
<How long have we been friends? I was still ten or eleven years old I think? We’ve been best friends for so long even though we are in two different countries. Don’t you think this is a friendship worth keeping?>
<I know! I’m trying to figure this out>
<You promised not to throw this friendship away after you meet some girl remember? You made me a promise.>
<Yes, I remember. And I will keep my word. I just need to figure this out. She’ll come around eventually. I really think the two of you would become great friends.>
<Well, you gotta figure it out eventually, because this is just awkward what you’re doing>
<I just need time…>
•••
1:00 PM I snapped back to reality as my phone alarm went off. It was time to go back to work.
The caffeine was beginning to wear off. Still debating whether or not I should have a third cup of coffee, I flipped through the Android Material Design Guidelines online, pondering what visual branding treatments were acceptable within Google’s design parameters. Writing down the correct color hex values on a notepad, I began to change colors on app elements in Photoshop, reskinning the interface. The phone beeped again, as another text message arrived from April.
<I’m sorry. I want to stay with you too. But I’m so worried>
<About what?>, I answered.
<What if it doesn’t work out between us? In a year? In five?>
<Why are you worried about this now? April, I love you and I’m perfectly happy with you>
<Yeah, but what if we DO break up eventually? You’re not a doctor and I’m supposed to marry a doctor.>
<Come on, I can’t change that>
I stopped working. Taking off my glasses, I sat back in my chair, rubbing my forehead. I was getting very tired.
<I just wish you could accept me for who I am>, I texted back.
<I do! I really want you to make it. I love who you are I just don’t love what you do>
<There’s nothing wrong with what I do. I am a designer and I’m good at it. I make a decent salary and I like my life>
<It’s different>
<Well that’s just your viewpoint. We’re just different, I guess>. I saved my work and walked to an empty conference room.
<Why do you even love me?>, I texted. My thumbs began to sweat. Typing was becoming difficult.
<I love you because you are kind. I love you because you value family, like me. My friends ask me why I love someone who is not what I want and why I want to change him knowing how much effort I have to put in>
<The only complaints MY friends have about you is these things you say from time to time! It’s so messed up. Maybe your friends are full of shit. At least I love you for YOU>
<I do too! Doctors are all over the place, especially with my family background it’s easy for me to just marry one, but I can’t find a doctor who is YOU>
<I’m getting back to work>
I stomped back to my desk, angrily chucking my empty soda can into a nearby wastepaper basket. A couple of coworkers stared.
3:00 PM For the next two hours, I tried my best to focus on creating more animations. More interactions. I compared the mockups I made against the Android and Apple guidelines. So far, so good. Sending the finished mockups back to marketing, I went back to the kitchen and made myself the third cup of coffee.
I chugged the hot beverage, nearly searing my throat. I went back to designing the wireframes. There were only three hours left in the workday, and I originally wanted to have had this perfected at the end of the day.
<Are you done with class yet?>. There was no answer from April.
Frustrated, I placed my phone face down on the table and returned to the designs. These have to get done, I thought. So little time. Fuming, I angrily threw the boxes together on the computer screen, connecting the button hotspots together as violently as someone could inside a digital space.
“Hey are you ok?”. It was Julie, who sat across from me behind my monitor. “I can hear you breathing from here”
“I’m fine”, I said. I sat back in my chair and looked at what I’ve made. It was sloppy and nowhere near the level of detail that I have been known for around the office.
“Take a break man. I just got an email that we have until the end of the week for these screens now”
“Oh…”
“Yeah. You can just chill”
“I think I’m gonna take a walk then.”
4:00 PM I looked at my watch as I waited in the elevator. Who does she think she is, I thought. So what if I’m not a doctor? Life can’t only be about status. I was so mad. That is such a shallow way of thinking! And it wasn’t me who started all this. I was just minding my own business working. She was the one who had to bring up Taiwan, and her parents’ crazy expectations for who she should be dating.
I walked outside briskly in the shade of the tall buildings. It was much louder now that I left the lobby. A street performer was beating a drum across the intersection. A crazy person was yelling about the end of times on the other corner. Good. Noisy enough that no one could see how angry I was.
And I hated the way she texted. How am I supposed to always be at her beck and call? I have a job to do; I can’t be there to simply answer every time she worries about crazy hypotheticals. I was doing fine today, I should’ve simply not answered. And now that she’s finished ruining my day, she’s stopped texting and has gone back to whatever she’s doing leaving me to pick up the pieces. Every single month, we have to have some fight about something completely stupid like this. Every single month —
Oh.
April had complained about being tired. April had experienced stomach pains during class. I counted the days since the last time I remembered similar complaints. There were many things I remembered for her. April could be so forgetful.
“Twenty-seven, twenty-eight….”, I counted in my head. I knew what she was going to need.
I stopped at the Rite Aid on 5th and Broadway. Quickly making my way through the aisles, I picked up a pack of Ibuprofen, a box of what appeared to be feminine pads, and a bottle of water. The cashier handed me the items in a paper bag after I made my purchase. Strolling further south, I began to think about what transpired.
Did she really mean all that she said? Perhaps a deeper question was, WHICH of what she said did she actually mean? You can’t tell someone you love them for who they are but also want to change them, I thought. Girls just say crazy things during their time of month right? I checked my phone.
Still no answer.
This is bad, I thought. Perhaps I was too harsh. Her car is in working condition. She chose to take the bus because she genuinely wanted to spend time with me. And now she’s probably on the bus home, in pain. All for me. I’m such a jerk, I thought.
Ducking into Bottega Louie on 7th, I bought a box of half dozen French macarons. They were rather pricey, but came in a beautiful box and were, I had heard, delicious. The small rigid box was not unlike jewelry packaging, with beautiful calligraphy and gold speckles dotted throughout its powder purple surface. It was a small gift that was sure to brighten up anyone who was having a less than perfect day.
6:30 PM The workday was now over as I closed my work laptop and packed away my things. The bus from UCLA arrived as I waited on a bench in Pershing Square.
“Hey what took you so long?”, I asked as I took April’s bag from her.
“I had the most horrible day!” she said.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize I sounded so mean—
“No, not you! My period started and I forgot to bring pads so I had to use tissues. And my phone died, and then the bus had to take a detour. So I needed to get off and wait for another bus, but I couldn’t use Google Maps and I’m so tired and I just want something to eat”
“Well, first things first I guess”
I handed her the box of macarons and discreetly showed her what was in the paper bag. “Let’s find a bathroom,” I said.
She looked into the paper bag. She looked at me. She started giggling, the happiest I’ve seen her all week.
“What? What is it?”
“Have you never bought pads before?”
“Well, no, but I figured you needed them. Was I right?”
“Those are panty liners, not pads!”
“Oh.”
“It’s okay, I’ll be alright. Cmon, let’s eat”
•••
8:30 PM After April had a chance to change, I took her to a nearby Hong Kong styled cafe. It would be nice to have some porridge, she said.
As we sat down and waited for our food, by reflex I folded April’s chopstick wrapper into an origami chopstick stand, as I have always done since our first date. I looked out the window into the dark.
The San Gabriel traffic outside was a lot calmer compared to the city. It was quiet and I could just make out the sounds of crickets. A high school couple walked out of the boba shop across the street, laughing to themselves, carefree. An elderly man picked out a newspaper from a box near the entrance. I felt a soft caress on my forearm.
April handed me a crudely folded flower made from a chopstick holder.
“I’m sorry about today. I keep forgetting how to fold that fancy origami, but I want to thank you for taking care of me.”
She smiled the familiar funny smile.
•••
9:30 PM As we walked in the darkness at a nearby park, digesting our meal, I stayed quiet. How can I make all nights like tonight?, I thought. Is there really an expiration date to our happiness?
Perhaps reading my mind, April said, “I don’t know what we’ll do if I really have to leave…”
I looked at her and kissed her forehead.
“Whatever”, she added. “If I have to go back to Taiwan, I guess I’ll just get another boyfriend, and it’ll be a doctor this time! HA HA!”
I did not laugh.
I let go of her hand and walked a few paces ahead, sullen.
“I’m kidding!” April grabbed my arm. “I really do love you, alright?”
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Making Original Textured Glass Countertops a Case Study: Eric and Kelly
We solve a big problem for our high-end residential and commercial Textured Glass Countertop clients. Many are only interested in original works of art for their homes …not reprints or copies. They have creative ideas and want them expressed in their decor…right down to the level of details in their glass countertop texture.
Our high-quality glass countertops are too expensive to not have fun shopping for!
This blog is one of several case studies presented to help you understand how our clients creative input drives the design process at Downing Designs.
Background
Eric and Kelly D. were designing their cute Tampa pool home to reflect their Key West taste. Kelly has an exceptional eye for landscape design, and has meticulously planned and executed by Eric. The effect is at once perfectly calming and vibrant in its color and textural composition. The next step was to make an outdoor bar that fulfilled their intent. They wanted a luminous party bar. One that synced with the flow of the outdoor walkways and layouts. They were concerned that no texture would capture the flow she envisioned.
The Lady gets what she wants. Pretty simple. We met onsite with their GC, and discussed several options incorporating her design ideas. And produced a few initial sketches.
They visited our studio where we discussed our design process. It is straightforward, but requires understanding how we feel about the flow of our textured glass countertops. The Downing Designs design center was designed for just this approach. As we walk around our textured glass high bar, different aspects become apparent: the flow looks different from one end vs the opposite end…the edge is amazing and we show how different textures that dissect the edge vs parallel the edge look like. Armed with this insight into our design process, the design became formalized in a series of refined pencil sketches, that captured the simple, breezy flow they desired. We proceeded to then scale up our sketches in the kiln with their direct participation. Its no secret that wine definitely helps this process, and this Sunday afternoon was no different.
Making Eric and Kelly’s Glass Countertops.
We took the sketches and made a scaled-up version of the selected design…”Kiln Carving” in the sand. Much like a water colorist, we start with a light outline, then carve our sand bed deeper to refine the design with a series of brush strokes to give us the desired texture. Kelly and Eric watched as I carved the bed…further and further with controlled strokes…taking on the ultimate shape of the textural flow. It is a very interesting process to watch a 2-D pencil sketch become 3-D in a sand bed. Slight adjustments are made during the process as they viewed the artistic shape from many angles to assure that the flow is perfect. Eric took a few strokes on the endpoint of the carving, and Kelly dotted the eye of the hurricane (Hurricane Kelly it is now dubbed).
Sand bed for glass countertops before carving
Carving Sand bed for glass countertops
Texturing glass countertops Hurricane Kelly
We then stack low iron glass sheets to make 1.5” thick glass countertops. When illuminated with natural light or enhanced with our LED’s (8,000,000 colors!) it can take on any color you desire. We offer professional and extensive lighting consultation as part of our design service to assure you that your glass countertop or glass high bar will be beautifully illuminated, and we discuss the many options offered.
The kiln is heated to over 1400 degrees Fahrenheit…annealed…cooled. After 5 days, the glass has been fully fused, and has taken on the texture of the kiln carved sand bed. We then use our CNC waterjet and/or diamond saw for precise cutting to size. Extensive hand polishing takes our glass to an optically pure lens quality edge. This is a critical Downing Designs quality distinction which we have elaborated upon before.
We also round over all corners and edges to make sure that the glass is comfortable when you are leaning against it, as well as chip resistant when people hit it with hard objects such as wine bottles, elbows and chairs.
The result is spectacular. The pictures don’t do justice to the effect this BIG beautiful, glowing bar top has upon its patrons. It’s calming. After a long day, what could be better than to have the perfectly soft, upward glow wash over your cocktails, food, and your significant other. We have described this “Time Machine” effect of this glow previously. It’s real. It’s wonderful. It’s powerful at making everyone look younger. My wrinkles become less obvious. Come see for yourself.
SUMMARY
We think that spending a lot of money on an expensive stamped, prefabricated piece of glass is just silly, when for the same amount of money you can have an original design, contoured to fit your kitchen or bath room flow. If you want to have an original, Rockstar bar for your home or restaurant, you don’t do it by covering old Beatles songs.
Give us a call to discuss your ideas and we will develop for you a unified design plan for your layout, complete in all respects with lighting, and glass countertop textural flow. You don’t need to be a wine expert to know that anything pairs well with a Downing Designs glass countertops, especially when infused with the likes of Kelly and Eric’s personality…
Thanks to Eric and Kelly D. for letting me photograph and write about this experience.
The post Making Original Textured Glass Countertops a Case Study: Eric and Kelly appeared first on Downing Designs.
from Downing Designs https://downingdesigns.com/49970-2/
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Making Original Textured Glass Countertops. Case Study: Acqua Cafe
We solve a big problem for our high-end residential and commercial Textured Glass Countertop clients. Many are only interested in original works of art for their homes …not reprints or copies. They have creative ideas and want them expressed in their decor…right down to the level of details in their glass countertop texture.
Our high-quality glass countertops are too expensive to not have fun shopping for!
This blog is the first of several case studies presented to help you understand how our clients creative input drives the design process at Downing Designs.
Background
Arlene Desiderio was opening her newest restaurant: “Acqua Cafe” in West Palm Beach, Fl. Like a true artiste, every detail is curated and expresses her charming touch: from the restaurant design, menu, food prep, staff selections, advertising…everything. By infusing her restaurant design with her personality (and boundless energy), the impact is seen even in the finest details. She has reasons. Past missteps have led her to trust her own instincts vs. those of others. She is successful because she understands what she and her customers want, and plans every element to meet that demand.
We were contacted by her Architect, Evans Howard from Alonso and Associates in West Palm Beach, and he was rightly concerned that she would be difficult to please because she is so hands-on in every aspect of the Acqua Cafe design concept. She has designed and operated several other successful restaurants. The stakes are high. Glass countertops are too expensive… and to not get what she wants would be a decision she would have to live with for the duration of this restaurant operation. After we described our process for empowering clients by integrating their ideas with our own, I suggested that we have Arlene visit our facility to participate in the design process. Evans agreed and was delighted with this approach. The Lady is paying for it…. The Lady will get what she wants. Pretty simple. We set up a time and Arlene drove 4 hours from WPB to Tampa to incorporate her design ideas and watch as they came to life.
This approach has worked very well for us. Remote clients also can participate interactively as we set a time where the glass oven and sand bed is being sculpted. We send pictures during the process and consult with the client to assure them that their ideas are being integrated and executed as best we can.
Making Arlene’s Glass Countertops.
We start with an initial series of digital sketches of the glass texture to map well with the bar “L” shape in her restaurant. We refine these sketches until the final version is selected for production.
The magic begins in our kilns where we measure to make a scaled-up version of the selected design…”Kiln Carving” in the sand. Much like a water colorist, we start with a light outline, then carve our sand bed deeper to refine the design with a series of brush strokes to give us the desired texture. After watching how I carved the sand, Arlene was game to cut a few swirls herself.
Arlene Desiderio texturing sand bed for her glass countertops
We then stack low iron glass sheets to make 1.5” thick glass countertops. When illuminated with natural light or enhanced with our LED’s (8,000,000 colors!) it can take on any color you desire. We offer professional and extensive lighting consultation as part of our design service to assure you that your glass countertop or glass high bar will be beautifully illuminated, and we discuss the many options offered.
The kiln is heated to over 1400 degrees Fahrenheit…annealed…cooled. After 5 days, the glass has been fully fused, and has taken on the texture of the kiln carved sand bed. We then use our CNC waterjet and/or diamond saw for precise cutting to size. Extensive hand polishing takes our glass to an optically pure lens quality edge. This is a critical Downing Designs quality distinction which we have elaborated upon before.
We also round over all corners and edges to make sure that the glass is comfortable when you are leaning against it, as well as chip resistant when people hit it with hard objects such as wine bottles, elbows and chairs. Arlene’s Glass is back painted, LEDs attached with stainless steel cover. We sandblasted her Acqua Cafe logo on the glass to further personalize the design.
The result is spectacular. The pictures don’t do justice to the effect this BIG beautiful, glowing bar top has upon its patrons. It’s calming. After a long day, what could be better than to have the perfectly soft, upward glow wash over your cocktails, food, and your significant other. We have described this “Time Machine” effect of this glow previously. It’s real. It’s wonderful. It’s powerful at making everyone look younger. My wrinkles become less obvious. Come see for yourself.
Acqua Cafe glass countertop bar glowing soft uplight
Acqua Cafe West Palm Beach glass countertop
It was a pleasure to be invited with my Mom (Barbara Downing) to dine with Arlene. Fabulous interesting food and staff! Cool Countertop!
SUMMARY
We think that spending a lot of money on an expensive stamped, prefabricated piece of glass is just silly, when for the same amount of money you can have an original design, contoured to fit your kitchen or bath room flow. If you want to have an original, Rockstar bar for your restaurant, you don’t do it by covering old Beatles songs.
Give us a call to discuss your ideas and we will develop for you a unified design plan for your layout, complete in all respects with lighting, and glass countertop textural flow. You don’t need to be a wine expert to know that anything pairs well with a Downing Designs glass countertop at the Acqua Cafe, especially when infused with Arlene’s personality…
Thanks to Arlene Desiderio of the Acqua Cafe for letting me write about how much fun I had with her designing her custom glass countertops.
The post Making Original Textured Glass Countertops. Case Study: Acqua Cafe appeared first on Downing Designs.
from Downing Designs https://downingdesigns.com/making-original-textured-glass-countertops-case-study-acqua-cafe/
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